Light in the Window

''So I walked away and didn't look back. Because if I did, I might have run towards you and lose all the remaining courage in me to leave.''

***
I usually get out of bed @ 9 or 10 in the morning. That is just when the sun's rays are flooding my room and directly hit my face. I'm not kidding.

SEE???
It's good---it feels like God sends his morning greetings and reminds me that each day begins with a light to guide and brighten up my day.

Yesterday was different. Not because of the light nor the time I woke up but because it was my day off.

DAY OFF = A DAY SPENT WITH YOU = HAPPINESS

The moment I opened my eyes, I got out of bed and finished my morning routine. I dressed up then went to the mall. I'm not sure if you're still in your office so I ate lunch there - alone - which is sad - but I'm getting used to doing it.

***

I remember how you scold me whenever I skip breakfast or lunch. And how I would reason out that I wasn't hungry.[where in fact I just don't want to eat alone]

I remember how you bought groceries for me so I always have something to eat when I'm hungry.

I remember how worried you are because I am alone in my room in the dormitory. You even told the land lady to take care of me like I were some 5-year-old-little-girl.

I get teary-eyed whenever I remember things we shared. That's a lot to mention here. I miss you everyday...

***

I texted you, asking if you're still in your office but you didn't reply. I called you but you didn't answer. I tried again. Then again. Until I finally heard your voice. I don't know if I'll be sad when you asked, "who is this?" Fortunately I remembered that names don't appear when somebody calls in your fone. [stupid cellphone!]

When you told me that you're in your office, I rode the first jeepney I saw so I could get there as fast as possible.

...then I got there. I noticed you had your hair cut.

***

I waited for two hours just so we can have snack together. That's all I want for that day...to be with you, talk with you, laugh with you. I know I'm not the type of person who says I Love You and hugs you. I wasn't raised that way, so...

Anyway, I was holding my tears when I walked you to the jeepney station. Because I know that OUR TIME ends there. It'll be a couple of days before I see you again...my dear mother.

''So I walked away and didn't look back. Because if I did, I might have run towards you and lose all the remaining courage in me to leave.''

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