November was [NOT] a fairytale

It's the end of the month and I can't help but reminisce the things that happened the past four weeks. November was a nightmare. Yeah, at least for me. At first I thought this is not something worth sharing, BUT this is my blog, so I MAKE THE RULESSSSssssssssss!

FLASHBACK

Let me take you to the past four weeks of my life. [parang katagal na e nuh...hehe] The first week has been fine, I was able to go on duty and live a not-so-normal, routine-life. Then I got sick before the week even ends. I will not tell you every detail 'coz I already did so IN THIS POST. [Read if you're interested. I'm not forcing anybody. But I'm telling you, you have to. hehe

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The second week of the month was the SICK-phase. ~~is there such a thing?~~ This was the time that I just stayed home, slept and forgot about the rest of the world. Seriously. haha. This was also when I sought medical attention until I was confined in the hospital because my condition wouldn't get any better. I spent 5days in there and was allowed to go home on November 16.

I suddenly remembered what I learned during my lectures when I was still studying and thought this might be something good to share. It is called THE SICK ROLE which is a concept created by an American sociologist named Talcott Parsons. It outlined the rights and obligations of a sick person.
Rights:

The sick person is exempt from normal social roles [yeah..]

The sick person is not responsible for their condition [nobody wants to get sick, right?]

Obligations:

The sick person should try to get well [uh-huh]

The sick person should seek technically competent help and cooperate with the medical professional [absolutely!]

Third week. RECOVERY-phase, or so I thought. I just continued drinking my meds and rested in our home. Unfortunately, I started to have tremors [unintentional trembling or shaking movements in one or more parts of your body] and palpitations [abnormality of heartbeat that causes a conscious awareness of its beating]. During my check-up, which was on the 21st, I told my doctor about it and he told me that those were side-effects of my meds. He took my blood pressure and listened to my heartbeat then said that I might have heart issues. My pulse rate was way above normal and I have difficulty of breathing when talking. Even a short walk would make me dizzy. He told me to have a 2D-echo; a test in which ultrasound is used to examine the heart and is capable of displaying a cross-sectional "slice" of the beating heart, including the chambers, valves and the major blood vessels that exit from the left and right ventricle. Then he prescribed another set of meds, this time, those were meds for my heart.

Fourth week. I started to really worry about my condition because I didn't feel that I was getting better. I was absent from work for too long and I didn't have the strength to go out and inform my superiors. huhu...

On Nov. 25, I had my 2D-echo and it showed that the left ventricle of my heart has impaired relaxation. The doctor told me that my heart has become inflamed and it has difficulty beating. Medically, this condition is called myocarditis with mild heart failure. This is a complication of my previous disease. I weighed 38kg and my blood pressure was 110/80mmHg. He said that this was high [for me] so he gave me anti-hypertensive meds and suggested that I should just rest at home. It would take 2-3 months for full recovery to happen.

THE DRAMA

I really thought I was going to die! lols. I was so scared then, specially when I was alone at home. Many what-ifs entered my mind like; what if I die now? what if my condition gets worse? what if my heart stops beating? what if??? Wanna know a little secret? Nurses are paranoid! haha. I prayed to God to make me well and I even bargained to Him. I said I would not abuse my earthly body anymore, I wouldn't force myself to do something if I'm already tired and so on... I ~~tried to~~ forget about my job and I worry less. I slept and ate and slept and ate and slept and ate. lols. I have to gain weight and I did and still doing my best to do so.

WHAT DID I LEARN?

Actually, I realized a lot of things. Life is short and God may take it away from you any moment. So, take care of yourself and stop overworking. Yeah, I abused my body, I work even if I don't feel well, I skip meals, I sometimes forget that I have to pee [oww...], I lack enough sleep and I don't have time for myself. I guess most nurses are like me. Should we blame our job? We take care of others and forget about ourselves. Aren't we pathetic? Duh. Don't get me wrong. I like my profession. I just hate the situation of us, nurses, here in our country.

As of now, I'm feeling well and I still take my meds. I just stay home and rest, rest, rest. I'll welcome tomorrow with arms wide open and hope that everything would turn out fine. :))