I was reading Candy Mag’s April 2012 ish this morning when a certain article caught my attention. The title is “Last
and Least” written by Micah Sulit and it tackles about the experiences of
people who are left out when parents, friends or teachers play favorites.
It’s really hard when you are the
one in the shadows because no matter what you do, people will only notice those
who are in the limelight since the day they were born.
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Sometimes, we only hear the
sentiments of the ones who are being left out. We listen to their dramas and
sometimes, their anger towards those who are considered as ‘role models’.
However, have we ever looked at the other side of the coin?
Micah also shared a story of a
guy who has been a teacher’s pet due to his high grades. He even received an
unsolicited favor that made him feel guilty. This reminded me of a situation
that happened to me way back in college.
I am not saying that I’ve been a
teacher’s pet too. In fact, I never was. But, I am someone that teachers expect
to get high grades during exams. [Sige, ako na mayabang. LOL] I am not saying
either that I am really academically good as how they see me. I’m not. I like to read, yeah, but I hate memorizing.
When we have exams, I browse my notes but when I feel like I no longer
comprehend what I was reading, I go to sleep. That was basically my study
habit---browse, read then sleep.
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One particular day, we had a
written exam in one of our major subjects. I didn’t really review for that
because I was fed up with other school stuffs. I just prayed that the question
I’d get was one I’m familiar with. Unlucky I was, I picked up a tough question.
Duh. We were only given ten minutes to answer that exam. Time was ticking and I
still hadn’t written anything on my answer sheet. Just so I wouldn’t pass an
empty paper, I scribbled some words then submitted it.
Guess what? I received a grade of
75%. Still PASSED. I was kind of shocked because I was expecting a 60%. I felt
guilty, really.
It is really hard to live up to
what people expect from you. When you are the one they look up to, you are
supposed to stay on top. It’s hard because they give you no room for any
mistake. You are their Ms./Mr. Perfect who live in a box made up of standards
they want out of you.
In conclusion, being in the
shadows or being the role model has its own pros and cons. But instead of
lurking in its cons, why not use it to grow? If you are the less favored, you
have the chance to prove that you are capable of doing something else; that you
are amazing in your own way. You don’t need to please everybody; just take it
positively and make the most out of it. Forgiveness is also essential so you
could move forward without any anger in your heart. Forgive those people who
belittle you and thank those who believed in you. On the other side, when you
are the one on the limelight, use it as a way to encourage others to do and be
their best. Don’t be a brat just because you are favored; rather, be a fully
functional adult. =)
Ah, i feel you for that. I was also like that when i was in college, i became as our Org's pres. they expect a lot, akal nila wala kang ginagawa, hindi ka pwedeng malate coz a good leader is always a good follower you follow your rules plus, minsan pag nafail nasa iyo ang bunton....i know its hard! But i think we should learn how to atleast make a mistake so that they would know that in this world nothing is perfect how much we try to be perfect!
ReplyDeletea very nice post lily. I wonder why you feel guilty, about the test. What if your answer are really good. Well, you are right that being the favorite has it's downside as well, people expect you to be good at all times and they get disappointed easily when you fail.
ReplyDeleteThat is right, use the negative to improve. Sometimes you just got to do your best in everything you do and be proud of it.
ReplyDeleteI was like this when I was on school before! Because I was the eldest on the class, they were just 16-17 and me I was 19 that time. There's so many expectations, from the people all around, your classmates and the instructors. That sucks really.
ReplyDeleteWhenever my instructors make a groupings, I always be the Leader. Even though I don't want to. They just say "Ikaw na lang." Nakakainis yung ganun. >.<
Lalo na expect nila dapat maganda kalalabasan, lahat na lang. :( May mga bagay din naman kasi tayong hindi pa natin masiyadong alam. Well that's life nga sabi ng friend ko. I just said to myself, bahala na lang sila kung ano gusto nilang isipin sakin, basta ako kung saan lang ung kaya ko hanggang dun na lang. :)
i felt the same way before but i never get too exaggerated about it because what we i am is what i am they shouldn't expect higher things unless we knew and can seethe future that we can actually do it! xx
ReplyDeletei've also lived in the shadows in school, but it really worked for me because it is also what i really wanted. :)
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate, pero okay ang yan. :D
ReplyDeleteWhat's important is, you move forward. You've done what you had to do even if it's not your best.
If you can do BEST in everything...
ReplyDeletethen you're close to perfection.
If you can do WORSE than others...
then you need to CHANGE and
straighten your flaws before it's
already too late for you.
Its a really good post. People need to get out of the shadows and make a name for themselves. ^_^
ReplyDeletei am not my pearents favorite .they say that they love us equally but I can feel it, they have favorites ,admit it or not. anyway ,my eldest son feel the same and he is very vocal about it. he is jealous of his younger brother but i always explain to him that he is everbody's favorite when he was his age.
ReplyDeleteagree. take every opportunity to grow.
ReplyDeletelearn from mistakes, and start from there.