Okay. I've been staring at the cursor for more than I should be. I don't know how to start or if I really have the nerve to continue writing this post. I was just blog hopping, I read some posts, commented and linked some bloggers when *he-who-must-not-be-named* suddenly popped in my mind. I know I'll hate myself after posting this.
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Have you ever been into a relationship wherein you thought *he's the one*? You already accepted him with all your heart and you're ready to plan the future with him but suddenly he's gone? Like a bubble, he just disappeared in thin air? Then you're left hanging, crying and praying he comes back? Duh.
I've been blogging for more than a year now. I created this blog so I
can have a little place to pour my heart out. But it turns out that I
only post things I want people to know. I seldom talk about *uber
personal* emotions here. I limited myself so you, if ever you're reading
this, won't think that I am some sort of [???NEVERMIND.] Anyway. This is one of the days I hate myself for being so...transparent.
He's gone and he's not coming back. When are you gonna wake up and realize that you've been holding on for
too long. You're slowly killing yourself. You let him ruin whatever's
left in you. He left. And that's how it's gonna be no matter how many
salty liquid falls out from your eyes. Your tears, no matter how
precious they are, won't be able to buy his heart. No matter what his reasons for leaving are, point is, he chose to leave despite his understanding that you'll be hurt. He chose to live life without you so you must do the same. Live every single day like it's gonna be the last day of your life.
He just doesn't care anymore. Accept the fact that he no longer thinks of you. Stop spying his facebook profile. No matter how long you stay on his page or how many comments you make on his posts, you'll never get his attention back. The moment he left, he also created an invisible wall that separates his world from yours. He doesn't care about you. He's not interested what you're up to. So go collect the pieces of yourself rather than forever mourning on his disappearance. There's a life out there. A life you failed to see when he was around. It's your fault anyway. You feed your mind with false reality.
Accept that he's no longer yours. Don't expect that you'll get a reply whenever you message him. You'll just hurt yourself. People may say that the only thing you should do is move on. Nah. There's no such thing as moving on. Nobody loves a person and just suddenly forgets the feeling. Unless otherwise you consciously try to do so. The mind, the heart, they both remember. The only possible thing here is ACCEPTANCE. Once you accept things won't work your way, you'll begin to heal. Slowly. Nothing comes easy, so they say.
*It still hurts you know. :( But for what it's worth, thank you for being part of my life. I loved you and I guess I'll always will. I already accepted the fact that you're gone...forever. I may look back at the memories we shared sometimes but believe me, I'll never stay in the past. I'm closing the door, or should I say, I closed the door. I wanted to throw away the key. But for some reason, I just can't.
I'm sure you'll find someone who will love you truly and faithfully till the end of time! You don't deserve soneone like this person who just disappeared and left you hanging. hugs!
ReplyDeleteDon't put yourself in a box of someone who ignores you. Be open to other people around you...Move on...Mr Right could be beside you..=D
ReplyDeleteTime and distance can heal all wounds and maybe its just better to feel that the other person don't care so you don't hold on to something that is no longer yours.
ReplyDeleteOuch. You made me cry. We have the same sentiments my dear. I hate this kind of feelings. But we have to let go of the past and moves on.
ReplyDeleteThat only means, it's the right time to let go and move on. Let things sway behind you (take note behind) and don't let your painful past stops you from stepping up.
ReplyDeleteDear Lily.. I too have experienced this with a boy who I thought was my forever. But he left and cheated on me. The boy that came next to him only knew but to be full of himself. I thought that I wasn't going to be able to find somebody else after a tumultuous 3 years.. but I allowed my pain to subside by accepting that everything happens for a reason. I waited patiently yet prayed along. I prayed that God shows me the man that I'm destined to be with. You know, it will hurt for a very long while. But trust that God will get you through. I hope that I can be a testament to your fate in love, as my guy and I already nearing our 5th year together -- still happy and love. :) hope you feel better soon. :)
ReplyDeletethat's very deep. i've been to past relationships before but i've never been so serious though, i just played it like its my everyday life. it his for me then good but if not no need to sad and lonely when he actually don't care.
ReplyDeletewe have to let go because as you are holding on to the pain its not doing you any good.
ReplyDeletethere's going to be someone else. :)
ReplyDeleteI am not sure if it is a gender thing that some men are not too much emotionally attached to those they love? Or perhaps we just seldom read, since men would not normally blog about these kind of stuff also? Should we really have to have emotional attachment to those we love?
ReplyDeletethe best you can do is move on ...just keep the good memories and use it as a tool for your next relationship..
ReplyDeleteI know its hard and only yourself can heal or time will..and eventually you will meet someone who's going to fill the piece that is missing..I always believe that everything happens for a reason.. then you will remember this moment..moment where you were so silly? lol
ReplyDeleteIt's only hard at first. But then, you'll learn to let go and you'll find your perfect match. So, be happy.
ReplyDeleteyou will find the right one for you..allow yourself to grieve and slowly pickup the pieces and move forward
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the hardest part in a finished relationship, "moving on". Stay strong and focus, and you'll gt through it in time...
ReplyDeleteI can relate this story and you made me cry.. :( Just always pray and ask God for guidance. He has a good plans for all of us that's why he give more trials to make us stronger. More hugs.. :-)
ReplyDeleteIn His time... you'll have that strength enough for to get back and go on with your life. Pray...
ReplyDeleteIt may not be readily obvious at this time, but this will pass and you will better off after it.
ReplyDeleteThe right one will come and you will just feel it... ETO NA TALAGA! Don't worry, LOVE will find you so stop searching for it. It's worth the wait. In HIS time. :)
ReplyDeletehii...
ReplyDeletei can totally relate to u..same am going thru..
he doesnt care or msg back:(
but i guess he may feel u are not good for him..in some way so u must ACCEPT this else u can never be peaceful..try asking him to be ur fren n see where it goes from there on...tc